Every day I imagine that things are different, that the thing I know is true is not true, that somehow we can all go back to 2 months ago…back to when we complained about having a busy day, how the weather was to hot or too dry or too wet….meaningless small annoyances that filled conversation.
But there is no changing time, no reversing, no matter how much we pray, plead, or wish.
That’s what feels hard today. Facing the starkness of knowing we have no control over how long we get to be with the people we love.
I want to go back to taking people for granted. I want to go back to not needing to touch my kids’ skin just so we can be a little more physically connected- as if just seeing them or talking to them is not real enough.
I want to stop listening to people so intently. I want to stop caring how their day went and appreciating that stranger who held the door open for me.
I would trade being part of this amazing loving community in a millisecond if it would bring us back to Before.
Is this selfish? You effing believe it.